Where does leadership actually begin?

Where does leadership actually start?

At the highest level, it is often thought that leadership revolves around strategy and tactics for decision-making (on a daily basis). And of course, that all plays a role. But when I look at the leaders who truly inspire people to take action, I see something different.

These are people who dare to be touched. And being touched is scary; it can hurt (it's all about secure attachment as a child). The video of Dick Advocaat shows this beautifully. A person who is visibly moved. That very moment makes a strong impression on me. I see both strength in this, which is needed in these times. Because emotion is not a sign of weakness. It shows that something is at stake. That it truly affects him. That he is involved. In coaching, I see the same.

Methodologies are valuable. Models provide structure. But ultimately, development occurs in human contact. In the quality of the connection. Can you inspire someone? Can you challenge someone? Certainly. But the question that precedes that is: can you create safety? Because without safety, people keep a part of themselves hidden. And nearly 50 percent of adults are insecurely attached. Wow, that's intense. Within Transactional Analysis, this is an interesting starting point. People are constantly scanning their environment.

Can I be myself here?

May I make mistakes?

May I doubt?

Am I being seen without being judged directly?

When the answer is 'yes', space for growth emerges. Not because someone will work harder.

But because someone doesn't have to spend as much energy on protecting, that's why this is, for me, the most essential quality of leadership. Not that you are always strong, but that people feel you are genuinely involved, that you can be touched. Because it is precisely for this reason that you can also touch others.